18.08.2012
And so Summer comes to and end- as always, too quickly. On the other hand, I can't wait for the beginning of September- finally all those brats screaming all they long behind my window will go back to schools/nurseries/special care homes- you name it. At least we'll have some peace. I swear, this noise make us both so agressive, that they are lucky we don't have any machine gun at hand. Madness...
Now, on Thursday I went to Worthing Homes to meet Ms M.- Polish as myself, slightly smoker sounding over the phone. She was to show me my future tasks and duties. Also, I met Louise, which is for now some kind of a supervisor for me. She has a bubbly personality and like to joke a lot-I think I'll have no problems whatsoever with her in terms of communication and cooperation. She's English and has significant dental lacks, but then again, considering british dental service, especially pricing, I guess it is better to remain teethless. I would definitely go to Poland to fix any such problems- luckily I did before arriving here.
Louise asked after brief chit-chat if I'm British, which probably means I managed to master my accent enough to fool anybody. Anyway- M. showed me everything and I find her very nice as well. At the end of our shift I found out she's also into crafts and so we began to regret that we only just met and almost instanly have to split. She's moving to Swindon-one of her sons got some lucrative job there.
As for a job itself, of course it is kind of boring and a little bit stressful when you enter an office full of people and almost kneel next to their desks in order to empty their bins. Feel like an idiot at this point, but maybe when they all will get to know me, it won't be so awkward. Whole building is like a labirynth to me, I'm sure I'll screw something up when I'll be on my own next week, without M.'s guidance. Louise is going to work with me, but in other parts of the building and doing different tasks. Yesterday I met new staff manager, and he's Polish as well. He had been checking our work and questioned few things but I think he was just showing off a bit. I think he might be younger than me. His english is quite good but he has typical, outrageously Slavic accent. Seem to be a nice guy, but of course, it might be just an illusion. He took me and M. to the nursery at Dominion Road where I'm suppose to work two days a week, mostly late evenings. Building looks like a goddamn shelter on the outside, and interiors are also much to be desired. You can smell the nappies. Awful carpets. And you have to use a code to get yourself keys to the main door and later type in another code to disengage the alarm. I like the backyard though- not because of it's beauty but because of various vegetables being planted there. I wonder if children are interested in it at all.
Met Jeremy- skinny ex-chauffer with yellowish teeth. M. said he's nice but he seems to be a pussy. Hard to tell- there was a significant communication problem as M, doesn't really speak the tongue, so probably she figured it out by simple observation of his behaviour. Jeremy works for the same company as us but in my opinion most men are not destined for cleaning purposes.
In general- I was a bit tired at the end of our shift yesterday, despite it lasted only just a bit over three hours in total. Got to use to the regime of regular work again, haha.
Am thinking really seriously about wedding photography. I can provide professional service for good value. I think it is fairly easy money. I won't do more photos than I estimated myself and definitely won't spend whole day over one picture on Adobe PS. Must rethink it deeply.
Now, I'm off to the beach. Must find some good spot far from the crowd- might be tricky. Will look for driftwood.
of hazard
13.08.2012
Finally sky decided to pour some stuff over the coastline.
Whatta place. I'm not saying it with admiration, mind you! Perhaps I should qoute Michael Palin playing chartered accountant and complaining about his job in the Lion Timer sketch : IT'S DULL,DULL,DULL, MY GOD IT'S DULL, IT'S SO DESPERATELY DULL[...]Yes, it is quite like it here. Surely, some skinny boys with Beatles's haircut would contradict me loudly now, claiming that there is plenty awesome places to go out, and such. Well, the point is I don't need entertaiment of a kind that is widely accepted and appreciated. Not only I don't need it but I detest it.
Now, there is an idea to attend Decapitated concert in Brighton some time in November. Prospect very exciting, especially because of Xerath performing as a support (FUCK YEAH!!!!). The gig will be held in some lame club called Audio, situated at the seafront. Never been there but I know where it is exactly. Normally it attracts some pink shirt, white powder sniffing element, so I'd like to see how this place transforms into a pit of black and symphonic metal hell! However vision of going there on my own is in a way disturbing, but damn it, I can handle this. So as Hastings.
Still don't have any job but it is about to change very soon.
Trying to socialize with boys we're living with and other people too. Playing basketball and pool billard.
Some prospects for mini painting exibition.
Sent my entry for National Artistic Competition.
Most of all though, I can't wait to start my archery course and to see what I'm made of.
I miss...
Finally sky decided to pour some stuff over the coastline.
Whatta place. I'm not saying it with admiration, mind you! Perhaps I should qoute Michael Palin playing chartered accountant and complaining about his job in the Lion Timer sketch : IT'S DULL,DULL,DULL, MY GOD IT'S DULL, IT'S SO DESPERATELY DULL[...]Yes, it is quite like it here. Surely, some skinny boys with Beatles's haircut would contradict me loudly now, claiming that there is plenty awesome places to go out, and such. Well, the point is I don't need entertaiment of a kind that is widely accepted and appreciated. Not only I don't need it but I detest it.
Now, there is an idea to attend Decapitated concert in Brighton some time in November. Prospect very exciting, especially because of Xerath performing as a support (FUCK YEAH!!!!). The gig will be held in some lame club called Audio, situated at the seafront. Never been there but I know where it is exactly. Normally it attracts some pink shirt, white powder sniffing element, so I'd like to see how this place transforms into a pit of black and symphonic metal hell! However vision of going there on my own is in a way disturbing, but damn it, I can handle this. So as Hastings.
Still don't have any job but it is about to change very soon.
Trying to socialize with boys we're living with and other people too. Playing basketball and pool billard.
Some prospects for mini painting exibition.
Sent my entry for National Artistic Competition.
Most of all though, I can't wait to start my archery course and to see what I'm made of.
I miss...
of reflections
26.07.2012
Let me tell you something about England.
As a cynic, sceptic and pesymist, some of my views are most likely distorted, but then again-this is what I am, unfortunately.
Couldn't believe for the past week I'm here. The idiocy of certain things hit me with double force. First thing of course-the infamous British Plumbing. Someone, preferably whole companies dealing with various plumbing problems in this country, should be exterminated, and replaced by those who actually KNOW how all these things work. Am stunned by random pipes sticking out of a enferior walls, fluids dripping from them, causing dampness, disgusting smell and such. I've never seen anything like this ever before.
Number two idiocy shall have to be separate taps for cold and hot water. In order to wash myself, I have to use a mug, to pour water over my body. Any devices which seem to solve this problems are most likely not to work for a longer period of time: I mean all those rubber tubes which are supposed to be attached to each tap, ending with shower head. They fall apart as the rubber tubes easily slip off taps.
Number three moronic idea: carpets in the bathroom. I mean: WHAT THE FUCK!? I don't even want to mention how carpet looks like in the toilet area, because it's too bleedin' digusting.
Number four must be the left side traffic. Why oh why British need to be always different than the rest of the world?!I mean, COME ON!On the other hand it doesn't bother me that much after some time.
Number five: shitfood. Now this is really tricky thing to avoid various kinds of poisons, GMO and such. We only just bought tofu at Morrisons, and to my utter dissapointment I found out it was made in the US!Pity I didn't check it earlier, however I could give it back if I wanted to. Nobody has to convince me that soya of American origin isn't GMO. It is,and them bastards don't even label it.
Bread is a spongy, tastless white pulp.
Now the whole country is crazy about her majesty's Diamond Jubilee and of course the olympics. Monarchs are now only to keep the tradition alive, they only spend tax payers money on throwing posh parties, travels, whippet races, hunting ; also generally trying not to look rediculous on TV.
On the bright side-organic products are avaiable in almost every market. If difference between organic bananas (pack of six) cost 1quid, and normal bananas cost 75pence, then the choice is rather obvious for me. Also:THE CRAFT STORES.Uhm, yes, well certainly well stocked. My Dear Beardless Boy bought me two plastic noses today, for some future toys of my production. We have quite impressive Fabric Store just behind the corner and they have all sorts of cool things over there. Note: all craft stores so far are run by the elderly women.
Am without work so far. Mainly because I'm overly ambitious this time. I want the job that suits me. I want a craft job.
My Dear Beardless Boy, who only just became Beradless due to his employment at Chinese take away, works at impossible hours. But I can call myself a chief reason for his success in seeking employment, as I found advert about this job on Gum Tree. He's satisfied so far. And he gets free meals. An I'm reliefed as at last there is some income.
Last but not least: CHILDREN. I fucking hate them for screaming all day long!Not only they scream, they fucking HOWL and SHRIEK!!Can't stand it. Would toss a hand granade among the lot of them to see what happens. Toss another one if required.
I don'r remember myself to be such a spoiled, noisy brat.
Let me tell you something about England.
As a cynic, sceptic and pesymist, some of my views are most likely distorted, but then again-this is what I am, unfortunately.
Couldn't believe for the past week I'm here. The idiocy of certain things hit me with double force. First thing of course-the infamous British Plumbing. Someone, preferably whole companies dealing with various plumbing problems in this country, should be exterminated, and replaced by those who actually KNOW how all these things work. Am stunned by random pipes sticking out of a enferior walls, fluids dripping from them, causing dampness, disgusting smell and such. I've never seen anything like this ever before.
Number two idiocy shall have to be separate taps for cold and hot water. In order to wash myself, I have to use a mug, to pour water over my body. Any devices which seem to solve this problems are most likely not to work for a longer period of time: I mean all those rubber tubes which are supposed to be attached to each tap, ending with shower head. They fall apart as the rubber tubes easily slip off taps.
Number three moronic idea: carpets in the bathroom. I mean: WHAT THE FUCK!? I don't even want to mention how carpet looks like in the toilet area, because it's too bleedin' digusting.
Number four must be the left side traffic. Why oh why British need to be always different than the rest of the world?!I mean, COME ON!On the other hand it doesn't bother me that much after some time.
Number five: shitfood. Now this is really tricky thing to avoid various kinds of poisons, GMO and such. We only just bought tofu at Morrisons, and to my utter dissapointment I found out it was made in the US!Pity I didn't check it earlier, however I could give it back if I wanted to. Nobody has to convince me that soya of American origin isn't GMO. It is,and them bastards don't even label it.
Bread is a spongy, tastless white pulp.
Now the whole country is crazy about her majesty's Diamond Jubilee and of course the olympics. Monarchs are now only to keep the tradition alive, they only spend tax payers money on throwing posh parties, travels, whippet races, hunting ; also generally trying not to look rediculous on TV.
On the bright side-organic products are avaiable in almost every market. If difference between organic bananas (pack of six) cost 1quid, and normal bananas cost 75pence, then the choice is rather obvious for me. Also:THE CRAFT STORES.Uhm, yes, well certainly well stocked. My Dear Beardless Boy bought me two plastic noses today, for some future toys of my production. We have quite impressive Fabric Store just behind the corner and they have all sorts of cool things over there. Note: all craft stores so far are run by the elderly women.
Am without work so far. Mainly because I'm overly ambitious this time. I want the job that suits me. I want a craft job.
My Dear Beardless Boy, who only just became Beradless due to his employment at Chinese take away, works at impossible hours. But I can call myself a chief reason for his success in seeking employment, as I found advert about this job on Gum Tree. He's satisfied so far. And he gets free meals. An I'm reliefed as at last there is some income.
Last but not least: CHILDREN. I fucking hate them for screaming all day long!Not only they scream, they fucking HOWL and SHRIEK!!Can't stand it. Would toss a hand granade among the lot of them to see what happens. Toss another one if required.
I don'r remember myself to be such a spoiled, noisy brat.
of day zero
13.07.2012
Here it is. Day zero. I should sleep by now, but can't. In about six hours time I'll be on my (paiful) way to United Kingdom. I guess I forgot much about travels like these.
I cried quite a lot today. I might not see my Grandparents ever again, as every day of life is like a miracle for them. Well, to be precise, rather hell-especially for Grandma.
I hope I sorted some things out.
I'm not superstitious, but damn, feel slightly unconfortable with this "friday the thirteen" thing. But I chose this date myself.
This is all heart breaking. How many times do I have to make decisions like these?!
Parting with O. left me smeared with tears and snot. ARGH!
I'm seriously fed up. But then- maybe I could do something to change my miserable, pesymistic existence, bring people together, make things happen.
And there are warm hands of my Boy awaiting me, and his good eyes and his love.
Have to go now.
Here it is. Day zero. I should sleep by now, but can't. In about six hours time I'll be on my (paiful) way to United Kingdom. I guess I forgot much about travels like these.
I cried quite a lot today. I might not see my Grandparents ever again, as every day of life is like a miracle for them. Well, to be precise, rather hell-especially for Grandma.
I hope I sorted some things out.
I'm not superstitious, but damn, feel slightly unconfortable with this "friday the thirteen" thing. But I chose this date myself.
This is all heart breaking. How many times do I have to make decisions like these?!
Parting with O. left me smeared with tears and snot. ARGH!
I'm seriously fed up. But then- maybe I could do something to change my miserable, pesymistic existence, bring people together, make things happen.
And there are warm hands of my Boy awaiting me, and his good eyes and his love.
Have to go now.
of anger
01.07.2012
FUCK!!!
FUCK!!!!!!
FUUUCK!!!!!
Now I'm in a deep ass. Did not expect (or maybe did have a hunch that it might be a problem) that my dear grandparents- hope they burn in hell - might make such a big fucking deal about two innocent chinches in the house. My Mom's mistake, that she haven't mention about my planned chinch transfer, a tad earlier. I will never, EVER understand those people. Instead of helping somebody, they always try to make someone's life a little bit harder, a little bit more sour.
So now the big question is: WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I DO???????????????
At this point I don't even want to go to 3city, if I have to face those two old farts. But then-I have no choice, I must see my Mum. If I wasn't a total looser, I would rescue her from this house of madness years ago.
I'm annoyed with everybody now. Even with myself! I hereby swear to not own any animal until the day I move into a place I would call home.
GAWD!! I'M SO PISSED!
Aunt discovered today that chinches made some damage to the wooden furniture, when they escaped about month ago. She doesn't know yet about other damages though, don't know if she'll take it so lightly. Sigh...
I still didn't tell her about my problem, and for some reason am very reluctant to do so.
GAWD!! I'M SOO PISSED!!
I feel so sorry for my two boys, but I have no choice but to give them away. And virtually no time for it. And what if they land in some awful place?!
FUCK!!!
FUCK!!!!!!
FUUUCK!!!!!
Now I'm in a deep ass. Did not expect (or maybe did have a hunch that it might be a problem) that my dear grandparents- hope they burn in hell - might make such a big fucking deal about two innocent chinches in the house. My Mom's mistake, that she haven't mention about my planned chinch transfer, a tad earlier. I will never, EVER understand those people. Instead of helping somebody, they always try to make someone's life a little bit harder, a little bit more sour.
So now the big question is: WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I DO???????????????
At this point I don't even want to go to 3city, if I have to face those two old farts. But then-I have no choice, I must see my Mum. If I wasn't a total looser, I would rescue her from this house of madness years ago.
I'm annoyed with everybody now. Even with myself! I hereby swear to not own any animal until the day I move into a place I would call home.
GAWD!! I'M SO PISSED!
Aunt discovered today that chinches made some damage to the wooden furniture, when they escaped about month ago. She doesn't know yet about other damages though, don't know if she'll take it so lightly. Sigh...
I still didn't tell her about my problem, and for some reason am very reluctant to do so.
GAWD!! I'M SOO PISSED!!
I feel so sorry for my two boys, but I have no choice but to give them away. And virtually no time for it. And what if they land in some awful place?!
of cage and other worries
29.06.2012
City of Białystok full of young people in neat outfits, proper for the end of school year. In the evening they are sporting newest trends in fashion and buying lots of beer and chips and other stuff. They sit on the pavement and smoke cigarettes in attempt to look like those chic ladies or bad boys from classical movies. They scream a lot and laugh. They constantly try to impress everybody. They pretend to be relaxed and carefree. Weekend begins.
*
Was at the dentist today and suffered and sweated a bit. I hate this stuff that is suppose to remove eccesss saliva, it always sucks on my tongue or a gum. Had some tartar removed with really terribly sounding and pointy device which was suppose to work on ultrasounds basis.
Am racking my brain over the cage problem, If I'd known, how many problems it'll cause to have two chinches in the house, I would probably refrain from having any. But then again- I didn't really expect to move around so much, let alone going abroad again. It appears that sending the cage will cost me dearly. Goddamn it. I'd prefer to spend money on something more interesting than that. I wonder how shall I solve this problem.
O. has a cunning plan to take Grandpa to 3city next weekend to see his only surviving friend (Grandpa's-not O.'s). So we could meet up, hang around a bit, O. would see my Mum after twenty years and perhaps impress my other Grandpa, who's particularly fond of everybody who's an engineer like himself. And of course, we could go back to Biały together. Not a bad idea.
All my paintings are finally framed, and most of them signed on the back. Bought outrageously expensive picture hangers (0.9zł each!!) and fixed them in.
14 days. Two weeks, that is. Am thrilled but simultaneously saddened.
City of Białystok full of young people in neat outfits, proper for the end of school year. In the evening they are sporting newest trends in fashion and buying lots of beer and chips and other stuff. They sit on the pavement and smoke cigarettes in attempt to look like those chic ladies or bad boys from classical movies. They scream a lot and laugh. They constantly try to impress everybody. They pretend to be relaxed and carefree. Weekend begins.
*
Was at the dentist today and suffered and sweated a bit. I hate this stuff that is suppose to remove eccesss saliva, it always sucks on my tongue or a gum. Had some tartar removed with really terribly sounding and pointy device which was suppose to work on ultrasounds basis.
Am racking my brain over the cage problem, If I'd known, how many problems it'll cause to have two chinches in the house, I would probably refrain from having any. But then again- I didn't really expect to move around so much, let alone going abroad again. It appears that sending the cage will cost me dearly. Goddamn it. I'd prefer to spend money on something more interesting than that. I wonder how shall I solve this problem.
O. has a cunning plan to take Grandpa to 3city next weekend to see his only surviving friend (Grandpa's-not O.'s). So we could meet up, hang around a bit, O. would see my Mum after twenty years and perhaps impress my other Grandpa, who's particularly fond of everybody who's an engineer like himself. And of course, we could go back to Biały together. Not a bad idea.
All my paintings are finally framed, and most of them signed on the back. Bought outrageously expensive picture hangers (0.9zł each!!) and fixed them in.
14 days. Two weeks, that is. Am thrilled but simultaneously saddened.
of trip to Białowieża
27.06.2012
31st birthday of my Dear Deceased Brother. We should be spending money on beer instead of new hearths, as You should be among us.
Went to Białowieża yesterday, and the experience in the woods wasn't as intense as in Knyszyńska forest. A lot of oaks though, and there is much darker among these trees. Also, I felt very strong presence of animals, however didn't see any, except for a Lesser Spotted Eagle. Flew away before I managed to get my Canon at the ready. This time I took my pocket sized binoculars, so we could observe a female deer from a distance. Such a beautiful creature. Will never understand sick urge for hunting. All who enjoy it are psychos, maybe except for those who actually kill animals to feed upon them, however eating meat is in my opinion quite nasty and totally unacceptable. Still, rather cowardly approach-try to kill a wild boar with a spear or something instead of shooting it from the comfortable spot, somewhere above the ground, with rifle with field glass.
Now, the museum. As I remember it, it was a small building, with rather not too extravagant inferior nor exterior. Remember stuffed horse and a european bison and all. Remember as my parents bought me two stamps at the souvenir shop-one with otter, the other one with common eider. Still got them somewhere.
When I saw it after twenty years I gasped with horror. Now it is huge, supposedly modern building, with restaurant and such, with some gigantic tower on top. We looked at the ticket prices and I thought someone lost his fucking mind- there was even a separate price for taking pictures. Obviously their taxidermy display is more valuable than the greatest of paintings on this earth. Left.
Białowieża is now very focused on making money, so almost everywhere you can find a room for rent, even a whole house if you wish, not to mention hotels with names which must have something to do with bison. A lot of tacky souvenirs which sometimes have absolutely nothing to do with this place. Of course countless, tacky, bison-themed items, probably made in China. And wooden axes and bows for children to please their inner urge for causing each other pain and distress.
Saw Tsar's Restaurant in former railway building. Wasn't really interesting (especially if one knows it belongs to Magda Gessler-and I think she thinks she's next Gordon Ramsey, only I don't think he ever compared vegetarians to "poor weirdos") but the surroundings are nice, especially old train, which remebers Tsar's visits at this region.
Overall, it was a good day, despite rain. Managed to sneak to the bison reserve without paying for parking or entrance- we pretended to be part of german group. Scared the shit out of two naughty boys in the town. Got into few old houses-one of them formely belonged to O.'s great grandmother (his father's side). It is partly empty now, and if someone was ever to dwell in it, should put a great deal of work to make it habitable. Pity it was given away, should have stayed in the family.
Finally we got to the heritage park, and I saw my dreamhouse. Couldn't get enough of this sight. I felt this would be a perfect home for each of us. O. would also be pleased to leave in such a house. We left this place with sadness, as we feel this is unlikely we ever make such dream come true. It's tearing me apart!!
We were farewelled by a black dog and a then sudden rain.
31st birthday of my Dear Deceased Brother. We should be spending money on beer instead of new hearths, as You should be among us.
Went to Białowieża yesterday, and the experience in the woods wasn't as intense as in Knyszyńska forest. A lot of oaks though, and there is much darker among these trees. Also, I felt very strong presence of animals, however didn't see any, except for a Lesser Spotted Eagle. Flew away before I managed to get my Canon at the ready. This time I took my pocket sized binoculars, so we could observe a female deer from a distance. Such a beautiful creature. Will never understand sick urge for hunting. All who enjoy it are psychos, maybe except for those who actually kill animals to feed upon them, however eating meat is in my opinion quite nasty and totally unacceptable. Still, rather cowardly approach-try to kill a wild boar with a spear or something instead of shooting it from the comfortable spot, somewhere above the ground, with rifle with field glass.
Now, the museum. As I remember it, it was a small building, with rather not too extravagant inferior nor exterior. Remember stuffed horse and a european bison and all. Remember as my parents bought me two stamps at the souvenir shop-one with otter, the other one with common eider. Still got them somewhere.
When I saw it after twenty years I gasped with horror. Now it is huge, supposedly modern building, with restaurant and such, with some gigantic tower on top. We looked at the ticket prices and I thought someone lost his fucking mind- there was even a separate price for taking pictures. Obviously their taxidermy display is more valuable than the greatest of paintings on this earth. Left.
Białowieża is now very focused on making money, so almost everywhere you can find a room for rent, even a whole house if you wish, not to mention hotels with names which must have something to do with bison. A lot of tacky souvenirs which sometimes have absolutely nothing to do with this place. Of course countless, tacky, bison-themed items, probably made in China. And wooden axes and bows for children to please their inner urge for causing each other pain and distress.
Saw Tsar's Restaurant in former railway building. Wasn't really interesting (especially if one knows it belongs to Magda Gessler-and I think she thinks she's next Gordon Ramsey, only I don't think he ever compared vegetarians to "poor weirdos") but the surroundings are nice, especially old train, which remebers Tsar's visits at this region.
Overall, it was a good day, despite rain. Managed to sneak to the bison reserve without paying for parking or entrance- we pretended to be part of german group. Scared the shit out of two naughty boys in the town. Got into few old houses-one of them formely belonged to O.'s great grandmother (his father's side). It is partly empty now, and if someone was ever to dwell in it, should put a great deal of work to make it habitable. Pity it was given away, should have stayed in the family.
Finally we got to the heritage park, and I saw my dreamhouse. Couldn't get enough of this sight. I felt this would be a perfect home for each of us. O. would also be pleased to leave in such a house. We left this place with sadness, as we feel this is unlikely we ever make such dream come true. It's tearing me apart!!
We were farewelled by a black dog and a then sudden rain.
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