28.XII.2011
Ok, I did it, I managed to crawl out of bed and go to the City. Had to run to catch a bus, but that's ok, as I was wearing not to many layers of clothing, thus I felt a bit cold. Went to the Town Hall to see exibition of Tomasz Tomaszewski's photos- I was the only human being there, except for bored ticket lady and guy who was in charge of cloak room and had keys for exibition rooms. Holy crap! This is how condition of photography looks like in our country...Anyhow, it was even pleasant to be left alone with this pics, and I found some of them quite interesting. Wish someone would pay me same amount of money (50 000zł) to do this project! After half an hour I left feeling a little bit more convinced that I should return to photographing. And then I went to Grandpa and spent some hours discussing paths for my artistic journey, exchanging ideas and so forth. Ate extremly greasy fried potatos and cucumber soup. Finished my picture. Was trying not to think about anger that grows in me like a particularly nasty boil. When it bursts I might do or say awful things. And very soon after- regret it. I can't even be consistent, that's pathetic!I think I need some weed.
I wish my dear friend V. could visit me as soon as possible. We would go for a long walks in the woods, drink vodka and smoke cigarettes, talk about tough and surreal things and laugh like mad men. He is the only person except for my dear Boy, I can do that with to such extent.
I don't like to hurry really, but I wish it was February already. Duh...
of burial
27.XII.2011
Couldn't bring myself to wake at 9.00. If I only had a possibility to hibernate, then I would. Great plans shattered, hahahahahahaha.
Washed my hair and later decided to paint something on 20cm x 30cm canvas. I did few drawings yesterday while watching "Trollhunter", and painting is based on one of them. Didn't finish it though, because aunt and uncle arrived with their deceased dog, Luna. Poor creature got her shot today, as she was in really bad state. Cancer had spread all over her body, so there was no other option to ease her passing. And so she's laying next to her predecessor, in a fertile, brown soil, among trees and shrubs.
I think of death every now and then. Strangely more often than ever, maybe because so many people had died recently, maybe because of my frequent visits at the cementary, bad condition of my cousin, my Grandparents talking about going to the "other side". Watched recently a documentary about Bruce Lee and his son, Brandon. Can't believe how coincidence may wipe out people before they even know it. Call it a curse, destiny, bad luck, karma. Begin to think that any plannig doesn't make sense, really. I'm a very cautious person by nature, but even so, anything can happen anytime, suddenly. Maybe the more aware you are of many dangers of life, the more you are exposed to them? Or maybe you can't really live as constant anxiety prevents you from being relaxed and happy?
When was the last time I was happy? Ah, yeah- April-May. Then a bit in August.
What crap. I wonder if I had this little, wooden house, away from people, would I get over my loneliness better than now, or would I go entirely insane?
Couldn't bring myself to wake at 9.00. If I only had a possibility to hibernate, then I would. Great plans shattered, hahahahahahaha.
Washed my hair and later decided to paint something on 20cm x 30cm canvas. I did few drawings yesterday while watching "Trollhunter", and painting is based on one of them. Didn't finish it though, because aunt and uncle arrived with their deceased dog, Luna. Poor creature got her shot today, as she was in really bad state. Cancer had spread all over her body, so there was no other option to ease her passing. And so she's laying next to her predecessor, in a fertile, brown soil, among trees and shrubs.
I think of death every now and then. Strangely more often than ever, maybe because so many people had died recently, maybe because of my frequent visits at the cementary, bad condition of my cousin, my Grandparents talking about going to the "other side". Watched recently a documentary about Bruce Lee and his son, Brandon. Can't believe how coincidence may wipe out people before they even know it. Call it a curse, destiny, bad luck, karma. Begin to think that any plannig doesn't make sense, really. I'm a very cautious person by nature, but even so, anything can happen anytime, suddenly. Maybe the more aware you are of many dangers of life, the more you are exposed to them? Or maybe you can't really live as constant anxiety prevents you from being relaxed and happy?
When was the last time I was happy? Ah, yeah- April-May. Then a bit in August.
What crap. I wonder if I had this little, wooden house, away from people, would I get over my loneliness better than now, or would I go entirely insane?
of wasting time
26.XII.2011
I'm really good at it. Time wasting. For instance- I woke up today at midday. Felt guilty about it, but on the other hand-didn't have any plans for today, so why bother? Drank almost the last of my Xmass cherry liqueur-generally stuffing myself with sugar all day. Went to the woods with Perkele and found thick, glass bottle with scaling-probably some ex hospital equipment, maybe a drip.
Tomorrow is an ordinary day, and perhaps I'll go to the photographic exibition at the town hall and then to Grandpa, although have no precise idea what for. Maybe I'll take some acrylic paints with me and canvas ( I've got about seven stretched canvas in various sizes ). Am thinking of some serious wood burning-maybe a piece of furniture. Gotta install myself at at least one new internet gallery. The thought of possible "steady job" slowly creeps into my mind. Ugh...
There is still one thing before me, thing that I detest-New Year celebration! I'd stay at home and bore myself to death, watching ignorant people at the public television cheering for no fucking reason ("Yay, another year of our life is gone!Yay, next year will be certainly better!"), but I guess I'll decide to go to Orlando's place to get stoned and talk to people I barely know about some accidental stuff. Most likely I'll be the only one without a pair, which really sucks. I should definitely put myself together and stop whinig! Yeah ,there is an idea for a brooch I should make for myself-NO WHINING.
As for Xmass presents which I miraculously manage to finish up at the very last moment- it was a huge success I must say. Everybody (honestly or not) was deeply touched by my commitment, and O. was rather gob-smacked when he saw pyrography of Ned Stark. Vintage pencils (50years old) called "DEMON' and "MEPHISTO" also made an impression on him, so am quite glad. Aunts and uncle and Grandparents where cooing over their gifts as well. Good, because I must be out of my mind to engage myself that much.
Stupid.
And I did not take a single picture of any of things I have made. Must photograph Stark at least-I almost broke my fucking wrist while pressing damn burner to achieve deep shadows on the picture! And there is A LOT of shadow on this one...
Next month (I.24) Behemoth is going to play at the former slaughterhouse in Białystok (great spot, hah), and exactly month later (II.24) Opeth will perform in Warsaw (Heritage Tour). Both concerts worth attending, especially Opeth. Gotta earn for damn tickets first, 'cause it ain't cheap, you know.
I'm really good at it. Time wasting. For instance- I woke up today at midday. Felt guilty about it, but on the other hand-didn't have any plans for today, so why bother? Drank almost the last of my Xmass cherry liqueur-generally stuffing myself with sugar all day. Went to the woods with Perkele and found thick, glass bottle with scaling-probably some ex hospital equipment, maybe a drip.
Tomorrow is an ordinary day, and perhaps I'll go to the photographic exibition at the town hall and then to Grandpa, although have no precise idea what for. Maybe I'll take some acrylic paints with me and canvas ( I've got about seven stretched canvas in various sizes ). Am thinking of some serious wood burning-maybe a piece of furniture. Gotta install myself at at least one new internet gallery. The thought of possible "steady job" slowly creeps into my mind. Ugh...
There is still one thing before me, thing that I detest-New Year celebration! I'd stay at home and bore myself to death, watching ignorant people at the public television cheering for no fucking reason ("Yay, another year of our life is gone!Yay, next year will be certainly better!"), but I guess I'll decide to go to Orlando's place to get stoned and talk to people I barely know about some accidental stuff. Most likely I'll be the only one without a pair, which really sucks. I should definitely put myself together and stop whinig! Yeah ,there is an idea for a brooch I should make for myself-NO WHINING.
As for Xmass presents which I miraculously manage to finish up at the very last moment- it was a huge success I must say. Everybody (honestly or not) was deeply touched by my commitment, and O. was rather gob-smacked when he saw pyrography of Ned Stark. Vintage pencils (50years old) called "DEMON' and "MEPHISTO" also made an impression on him, so am quite glad. Aunts and uncle and Grandparents where cooing over their gifts as well. Good, because I must be out of my mind to engage myself that much.
Stupid.
And I did not take a single picture of any of things I have made. Must photograph Stark at least-I almost broke my fucking wrist while pressing damn burner to achieve deep shadows on the picture! And there is A LOT of shadow on this one...
Next month (I.24) Behemoth is going to play at the former slaughterhouse in Białystok (great spot, hah), and exactly month later (II.24) Opeth will perform in Warsaw (Heritage Tour). Both concerts worth attending, especially Opeth. Gotta earn for damn tickets first, 'cause it ain't cheap, you know.
of unnecessary tasks and obligatory behaviour
24.XII.2011
Yes. It's past midnight, so Christmas Eve is yet before me. Been making dumplings for the last few hours, drinking Bailey's with ice and trying not to think too much of how irrelevant the whole thing is. People get thrills from such moments of anticipation. They expect that THIS TIME EVERYTHING WILL BE PERFECTLY MAGICAL. No annoying family members complaining about the unsatisfactory consistency of soup/pate/fish-you name it. No bitter words. No completely improper and useless gifts. No cardiac arrests, bloated bellies and not-so-quite well hidden farts released under the table. No tough discussions about politics, religion, and economy. Just pure love and understanding...
Most likely this will be just not so. I don't know. This is my first Christmas here since I left this very place almost 20 years ago. Wish I wouldn't be bound to this strange rituals, which have nothing to do with logic, but are mindlessly repeated over hundreds, thousands of years. Only now, the whole cause of it- fella called Jesus- is being almost utterly removed from the mass conciousness. In the name of god and the holy spirit-let us buy, buy, BUY!!
Still have few things to do. I might take the whole gift-making too seriously. Don't know if I'll be able to take some photos of stuff I've just made, and I mean GOOD photos, not just some pics taken in a hurry with random light and background...And, well, I did one heck of a job. Wonder if it'll be sufficiently appreciated...
AND I hope not to receive any oversized underwear or perfumes that make me dizzy or shitloads of MILK chocolate...
Am slightly anxious about possible Skype conversation with my beloved Father, who is now as strange to me as those rare animals living far away, seen only by the chosen. He existst and yet seem to be unreal. What an unfair and cruel life.
Condition of my cuz remains the same.
What a lovely gift for his already tormented mother. I wonder if he'd had a chance to return to his former state, would he ever cosider to stop drinking? If there is no will to live, why not just finish it nice and quickly? :-/
Have some wood burning left, and my eyelids are getting heavier...Better finish it now...
Yes. It's past midnight, so Christmas Eve is yet before me. Been making dumplings for the last few hours, drinking Bailey's with ice and trying not to think too much of how irrelevant the whole thing is. People get thrills from such moments of anticipation. They expect that THIS TIME EVERYTHING WILL BE PERFECTLY MAGICAL. No annoying family members complaining about the unsatisfactory consistency of soup/pate/fish-you name it. No bitter words. No completely improper and useless gifts. No cardiac arrests, bloated bellies and not-so-quite well hidden farts released under the table. No tough discussions about politics, religion, and economy. Just pure love and understanding...
Most likely this will be just not so. I don't know. This is my first Christmas here since I left this very place almost 20 years ago. Wish I wouldn't be bound to this strange rituals, which have nothing to do with logic, but are mindlessly repeated over hundreds, thousands of years. Only now, the whole cause of it- fella called Jesus- is being almost utterly removed from the mass conciousness. In the name of god and the holy spirit-let us buy, buy, BUY!!
Still have few things to do. I might take the whole gift-making too seriously. Don't know if I'll be able to take some photos of stuff I've just made, and I mean GOOD photos, not just some pics taken in a hurry with random light and background...And, well, I did one heck of a job. Wonder if it'll be sufficiently appreciated...
AND I hope not to receive any oversized underwear or perfumes that make me dizzy or shitloads of MILK chocolate...
Am slightly anxious about possible Skype conversation with my beloved Father, who is now as strange to me as those rare animals living far away, seen only by the chosen. He existst and yet seem to be unreal. What an unfair and cruel life.
Condition of my cuz remains the same.
What a lovely gift for his already tormented mother. I wonder if he'd had a chance to return to his former state, would he ever cosider to stop drinking? If there is no will to live, why not just finish it nice and quickly? :-/
Have some wood burning left, and my eyelids are getting heavier...Better finish it now...
of this and that
11.12.2011
Ok. So what day is this? Sunday? Riiight.
I wish I could say I have achieved incredible things during this passing week, but I haven't. Am left with seven dogs and three cats to tend to, as my Aunt is on her italian trip and she'll be back next Saturday. It's like working in an animal shelter, with only difference I don't have to shovel excrements (thank Odin for that!). HOWEVER I manage to step into one poo or another every now an then, as none of these canine creatures seem to bother WHERE they actually lay a dump. It might be as well in the middle of the path. In every color and texture. Well, yeah...Enough of this.
Needless to say-I'm stuck. The thoughts of my current uneven situation make me feel anxious. My pirographic works and most of felt jewelery are now at some library at the outskirts of Białystok. Don't expect any sales really, but at least someone will see my creations. Nice library staff BDW, I think I could do such a job-it is absolutely devoid of stress.
OK, I DO EXPECT SOME SALES. I'm a liar.
Still.
I made my first doll. Must take some decent photos of her ( she hasn't got a name, but will come up with some sooner or later ). Am quite satisfied. She is a girl but has a grayish hair, which make her look more serious. And I like an outfit I made for her. Basically she's an old soul. There will be more to come, I hope, when I get my Sculpey stuff, specifically for doll making. I know this is just silly. Can't focus on one thing...
Have plans to make all my xmass presents by hand, although I'm tired of carrying out this duty every year in order to fulfill somebody's expectations. And it does not fit my heathen world, either. Of course, I take pleasure in giving things to somebody I like or love, especially if it is made by me. But why the fuck I have to do this at this specific date? Which is a fake date of birth of Christ, BDW? Everything has it's roots in paganism, I dare to say it is hugely influneced by it. Most people don't realise it, and if they do, they deny the obvious. And my Family in Białystok is for one, (quite impossible to undermine) reason deprived of faith. And yet, there'll be a huge feast and all, probably for the sake of old times. When there were two, young boys sitting at the table, instead of one.
Am spending too much time at the front of a computer. I've been practicing my Scottish accent for example. Yer' right!! I find it interesting and amusing to be able to mimic different accents within one language. Was exploring Monty Python's unknown sketches. And listening to this chants .Truly, I don't care that this music was made to praise the "lord". I admire the skill, voice control, depth and mood. I takes me back in time.It calms me down.
I could imagine myself in some airy workshop, full of daylight, listening to such music and creating. Endlessly.
Learned new word in Norwegian: tullebukke.
Jeg ar tullebukke, sikkert...
ps. Saw neighbor's bitch sliding under our gate in order to get some intercourse with our dogs. Only Fanzol got his nutsack intact, so I guess he was happy that he could get some action. This little whore drives me mad. She'll do anything for a piece of dick. And her moronic owner will be drowning puppies in the well again.
Ok. So what day is this? Sunday? Riiight.
I wish I could say I have achieved incredible things during this passing week, but I haven't. Am left with seven dogs and three cats to tend to, as my Aunt is on her italian trip and she'll be back next Saturday. It's like working in an animal shelter, with only difference I don't have to shovel excrements (thank Odin for that!). HOWEVER I manage to step into one poo or another every now an then, as none of these canine creatures seem to bother WHERE they actually lay a dump. It might be as well in the middle of the path. In every color and texture. Well, yeah...Enough of this.
Needless to say-I'm stuck. The thoughts of my current uneven situation make me feel anxious. My pirographic works and most of felt jewelery are now at some library at the outskirts of Białystok. Don't expect any sales really, but at least someone will see my creations. Nice library staff BDW, I think I could do such a job-it is absolutely devoid of stress.
OK, I DO EXPECT SOME SALES. I'm a liar.
Still.
I made my first doll. Must take some decent photos of her ( she hasn't got a name, but will come up with some sooner or later ). Am quite satisfied. She is a girl but has a grayish hair, which make her look more serious. And I like an outfit I made for her. Basically she's an old soul. There will be more to come, I hope, when I get my Sculpey stuff, specifically for doll making. I know this is just silly. Can't focus on one thing...
Have plans to make all my xmass presents by hand, although I'm tired of carrying out this duty every year in order to fulfill somebody's expectations. And it does not fit my heathen world, either. Of course, I take pleasure in giving things to somebody I like or love, especially if it is made by me. But why the fuck I have to do this at this specific date? Which is a fake date of birth of Christ, BDW? Everything has it's roots in paganism, I dare to say it is hugely influneced by it. Most people don't realise it, and if they do, they deny the obvious. And my Family in Białystok is for one, (quite impossible to undermine) reason deprived of faith. And yet, there'll be a huge feast and all, probably for the sake of old times. When there were two, young boys sitting at the table, instead of one.
Am spending too much time at the front of a computer. I've been practicing my Scottish accent for example. Yer' right!! I find it interesting and amusing to be able to mimic different accents within one language. Was exploring Monty Python's unknown sketches. And listening to this chants .Truly, I don't care that this music was made to praise the "lord". I admire the skill, voice control, depth and mood. I takes me back in time.It calms me down.
I could imagine myself in some airy workshop, full of daylight, listening to such music and creating. Endlessly.
Learned new word in Norwegian: tullebukke.
Jeg ar tullebukke, sikkert...
ps. Saw neighbor's bitch sliding under our gate in order to get some intercourse with our dogs. Only Fanzol got his nutsack intact, so I guess he was happy that he could get some action. This little whore drives me mad. She'll do anything for a piece of dick. And her moronic owner will be drowning puppies in the well again.
extraordinary people
3.XII.2011
So may things had happened, so many people met. Good and kind words had been said. Some emotions spilled. And there was a concert, an awesome experience to see my Bro playing stuff, doing what he really loves, becoming famous and recognizable. Felt so good to go back to our little flat and rest and sleep deeply, only to regret that on my own, without warm presence of my loved one. But this is yet to come.
Came back with strong decree to stop worry that much and begin to distinguish things that matter and those that are completely irrelevant. Also to appreciate what I have. Have just discovered amazing series called "Extraordinary people". It is worth watching, not only to regain some optimism, but also in order to stop whining and feeling sorry for oneself. Yup, Nature can be cruel...
So may things had happened, so many people met. Good and kind words had been said. Some emotions spilled. And there was a concert, an awesome experience to see my Bro playing stuff, doing what he really loves, becoming famous and recognizable. Felt so good to go back to our little flat and rest and sleep deeply, only to regret that on my own, without warm presence of my loved one. But this is yet to come.
Came back with strong decree to stop worry that much and begin to distinguish things that matter and those that are completely irrelevant. Also to appreciate what I have. Have just discovered amazing series called "Extraordinary people". It is worth watching, not only to regain some optimism, but also in order to stop whining and feeling sorry for oneself. Yup, Nature can be cruel...
of travelling
16. XI. 2011
Number of bitten legs- two. Number of victims-one. Not sure really who is a victim here-need Sigmund Freud urgently for this, although I do not know if he was good in animal psychoanalysist. My bitch causes havoc. At least I'm not the one who's being attacked on daily basis-she loves me unconditionally. And yet she tests my patience! Must admit I'm not a terribly patient person, in fact every disurbance during the night, every noise drives me mad. In the morning all my anger fades away, only blood-shot eyes prove that I didn't have an enjoyable night. It should be written on every wall in every city, with bright, capital letters, so it would be impossible to miss the message:" BEWARE OF SMALL DOGS, PEOPLE!". Every cute York or other devilry no matter how sweet it seems to your eyes is almost inevitably psychotic and aggressive. This discovery may come out at the least expected moment, and in consequence lead to great misunderstandings, broken plates, torn garments, spilled liquids and so on and so forth. Fear is behind all this madness. Fear which has found it's lair deep inside those tiny brains.
Ahem...As for travelling, oh yes, I do travel far and beyond the recognisable. My head is filled with confusion. Now I have another thing on my mind- how to satisfy my hunger for people I like/love/tolerate within ONE WEEK. In two cities. Maybe should limit myself only to 3City, but it would be nice to visit B. and have some nasty beverage with ol' gals. And there is an idea of My Riot concert which I should attend to see my Bro performing live and becoming famous and recognisable at last-this is must see- I guess...Shall have to forget about my natural dislike for crowdy and sweaty events as such... Still, Orlando is going to be really envious, especially if I'll manage to get ticket for free and make guys to sign my cd! Allright, will take O.'s copy as well.
I need a plan which I could follow strictly and thus save me trouble. I'll be worn off after all this. 17,5 hours in trains is a final count-if everything goes according to schedule.
Pyrography is still among my favourites, so I'm trying to continue with new projects. Should receive my long awaited gratification this week. Moon Moth flew to its new owner today...
Number of bitten legs- two. Number of victims-one. Not sure really who is a victim here-need Sigmund Freud urgently for this, although I do not know if he was good in animal psychoanalysist. My bitch causes havoc. At least I'm not the one who's being attacked on daily basis-she loves me unconditionally. And yet she tests my patience! Must admit I'm not a terribly patient person, in fact every disurbance during the night, every noise drives me mad. In the morning all my anger fades away, only blood-shot eyes prove that I didn't have an enjoyable night. It should be written on every wall in every city, with bright, capital letters, so it would be impossible to miss the message:" BEWARE OF SMALL DOGS, PEOPLE!". Every cute York or other devilry no matter how sweet it seems to your eyes is almost inevitably psychotic and aggressive. This discovery may come out at the least expected moment, and in consequence lead to great misunderstandings, broken plates, torn garments, spilled liquids and so on and so forth. Fear is behind all this madness. Fear which has found it's lair deep inside those tiny brains.
Ahem...As for travelling, oh yes, I do travel far and beyond the recognisable. My head is filled with confusion. Now I have another thing on my mind- how to satisfy my hunger for people I like/love/tolerate within ONE WEEK. In two cities. Maybe should limit myself only to 3City, but it would be nice to visit B. and have some nasty beverage with ol' gals. And there is an idea of My Riot concert which I should attend to see my Bro performing live and becoming famous and recognisable at last-this is must see- I guess...Shall have to forget about my natural dislike for crowdy and sweaty events as such... Still, Orlando is going to be really envious, especially if I'll manage to get ticket for free and make guys to sign my cd! Allright, will take O.'s copy as well.
I need a plan which I could follow strictly and thus save me trouble. I'll be worn off after all this. 17,5 hours in trains is a final count-if everything goes according to schedule.
Pyrography is still among my favourites, so I'm trying to continue with new projects. Should receive my long awaited gratification this week. Moon Moth flew to its new owner today...
of strange feelings and vaccinations
06.11.2011
Sometimes I'm not me. It's like I am seeing the World through someone else's eyes. As if I'm under the inluence of some strange, unknown substance. I had this feeling today while walking in the woods with Perekele. Well, I WAS certainly walking, she was running back and forth at full speed. Forgot to take camera again and soon no single leaf will remain on all those trees! And there are oaks of various kinds, and birches and some black pines at random and alders and junipers. The Wood of the Dead as I call it, as human remnants are scattered there since the last Great War. No precise number of victims is known to the living. Maybe that is why all those trees thrive as they grow on the very fertile soil indeed...Must go there tomorrow and take some pictures to preserve some of these colors and shapes for future rememberance.
Few days ago I was with Perkele at the Veterinary Clinic to give her a necessary shot and to check her general health state. Now, I must say that the whole procedure of injection was damn tricky as Perkele became impossible to pacify. We ended up holding her down with help of three people (including myself) and had only a split of a second to vaccinate. She bit me too, but did not tear open any main vains or anything. Spent around three hours at the vet as we took Tora and Misiek with us as well, and had to wait for our turn as there was an operation going on (some nasty stuff). And then I went with Perkele to Orlando to pick up my bread. And then we went for a bus and she managed no to bite anyone and uttered only one bark throughout the whole journey. I don't suppose she is eager to travel with me this way-she's much to nervous.
Besides I'm making a moth brooch, which has been ordered by aunt's friend. It's a large, African Moon Moth (http://www.flickr.com/photos/10476849@N08/2483966979/)which looks a bit like a butterfly. Big muthafucka. Almost finished! I think I'll concetrate on insects when it comes to my felt works. I just HAVE TO stick with one thing, otherwise I'll never master any skill. Being just good at something is not enough...
Must express my dissapointment with the whole 5th of November thing as I really did hope that Facebook will perish and therefore bring milions of it's users (including me) back to the bosom of society!
Nah, just joking-couldn't care less for modern society. Have to admit though, that fb is a time thief.
I hope today I'll be able to have a proper sleep-yesterday evening Perkele was banished to spend the night in the kitchen among other dogs, and kept scratching my door which was driving me mad...Am trying to teach her, that my room was her hide-away just for few days and that she must learn how to cooperate with other dwellers of this house. Saw her today asleep with Crybaby (the cat) on her bedding, so I think she begins to settle down.
Speaking of hide-aways:
Sometimes I'm not me. It's like I am seeing the World through someone else's eyes. As if I'm under the inluence of some strange, unknown substance. I had this feeling today while walking in the woods with Perekele. Well, I WAS certainly walking, she was running back and forth at full speed. Forgot to take camera again and soon no single leaf will remain on all those trees! And there are oaks of various kinds, and birches and some black pines at random and alders and junipers. The Wood of the Dead as I call it, as human remnants are scattered there since the last Great War. No precise number of victims is known to the living. Maybe that is why all those trees thrive as they grow on the very fertile soil indeed...Must go there tomorrow and take some pictures to preserve some of these colors and shapes for future rememberance.
Few days ago I was with Perkele at the Veterinary Clinic to give her a necessary shot and to check her general health state. Now, I must say that the whole procedure of injection was damn tricky as Perkele became impossible to pacify. We ended up holding her down with help of three people (including myself) and had only a split of a second to vaccinate. She bit me too, but did not tear open any main vains or anything. Spent around three hours at the vet as we took Tora and Misiek with us as well, and had to wait for our turn as there was an operation going on (some nasty stuff). And then I went with Perkele to Orlando to pick up my bread. And then we went for a bus and she managed no to bite anyone and uttered only one bark throughout the whole journey. I don't suppose she is eager to travel with me this way-she's much to nervous.
Besides I'm making a moth brooch, which has been ordered by aunt's friend. It's a large, African Moon Moth (http://www.flickr.com/photos/10476849@N08/2483966979/)which looks a bit like a butterfly. Big muthafucka. Almost finished! I think I'll concetrate on insects when it comes to my felt works. I just HAVE TO stick with one thing, otherwise I'll never master any skill. Being just good at something is not enough...
Must express my dissapointment with the whole 5th of November thing as I really did hope that Facebook will perish and therefore bring milions of it's users (including me) back to the bosom of society!
Nah, just joking-couldn't care less for modern society. Have to admit though, that fb is a time thief.
I hope today I'll be able to have a proper sleep-yesterday evening Perkele was banished to spend the night in the kitchen among other dogs, and kept scratching my door which was driving me mad...Am trying to teach her, that my room was her hide-away just for few days and that she must learn how to cooperate with other dwellers of this house. Saw her today asleep with Crybaby (the cat) on her bedding, so I think she begins to settle down.
Speaking of hide-aways:
of histerical bitch
31. X. 2011
Ok, ok, so it's Halloween, but instead of carving in pumpkins and dressing up as half-eaten corpse I'm busy with dog walking a chicken sized bitch. I saw her yesterday in the newspaper and thought: what a pretty, little thing!Next thing I know, my Aunt makes a call to the animal shelter ( she knows everybody there ) and ask around. Few hours later, Bitch Is In Da House! Today I can say for certain, she's jealous as hell- won't let anyone touch me. Also every unknown sound (every sound, that is) makes her nervous and all shaken up. Also every human being is in her eyes a possible threat. So my question is-what kind of sick bastards, miserable lowlifes, dickheads and fucks she'd been encountering throughout her life?! I seriously hope that soon she'll come to her senses, at least as it comes to accepting my Aunt. It's like with a infant-can't leave it for a moment. I was always dreaming of a clever little dog I can take everywhere. Don't suppose I could take her to a bus, at least not anytime soon. I'd end up with a lot of trouble. BDW- Tora, the english bulldog sat on her today, so there was a lot of high pitched wining. I think it was just an act, a lot of exaggeration...
We'll see. If it wasn't for me, poor bitch would be now out in the cold and mist, as woman who was her foster, couldn't stand her anymore (it was the husband who took this little thing from the shelter a year ago. Unfortunately he ceased to be, and his wife, well, she's a stupid tart). There is a hard work ahead of me! And I need some breathing space, for goodness sake-she's after me wherever I go. And keeps staring into my eyes.
Phew...
Decided to name her Perkele, as I'm obviously obessed with this word, AND my dear Boyfriend suggested it, so I guess it's done.
Besides-extremely gloomy day. Woke up far too early for my liking.
Unexpected visit from O.- I call it MMS.
Ps. watched some stuff about making jewelry out of silver and copper. Piece of cake.
And as it is Halloween after all, here is little accent:
One of the Keaton's best characters! Love that guy.
Ok, ok, so it's Halloween, but instead of carving in pumpkins and dressing up as half-eaten corpse I'm busy with dog walking a chicken sized bitch. I saw her yesterday in the newspaper and thought: what a pretty, little thing!Next thing I know, my Aunt makes a call to the animal shelter ( she knows everybody there ) and ask around. Few hours later, Bitch Is In Da House! Today I can say for certain, she's jealous as hell- won't let anyone touch me. Also every unknown sound (every sound, that is) makes her nervous and all shaken up. Also every human being is in her eyes a possible threat. So my question is-what kind of sick bastards, miserable lowlifes, dickheads and fucks she'd been encountering throughout her life?! I seriously hope that soon she'll come to her senses, at least as it comes to accepting my Aunt. It's like with a infant-can't leave it for a moment. I was always dreaming of a clever little dog I can take everywhere. Don't suppose I could take her to a bus, at least not anytime soon. I'd end up with a lot of trouble. BDW- Tora, the english bulldog sat on her today, so there was a lot of high pitched wining. I think it was just an act, a lot of exaggeration...
We'll see. If it wasn't for me, poor bitch would be now out in the cold and mist, as woman who was her foster, couldn't stand her anymore (it was the husband who took this little thing from the shelter a year ago. Unfortunately he ceased to be, and his wife, well, she's a stupid tart). There is a hard work ahead of me! And I need some breathing space, for goodness sake-she's after me wherever I go. And keeps staring into my eyes.
Phew...
Decided to name her Perkele, as I'm obviously obessed with this word, AND my dear Boyfriend suggested it, so I guess it's done.
Besides-extremely gloomy day. Woke up far too early for my liking.
Unexpected visit from O.- I call it MMS.
Ps. watched some stuff about making jewelry out of silver and copper. Piece of cake.
And as it is Halloween after all, here is little accent:
One of the Keaton's best characters! Love that guy.
of slug making etc.
29. X. 2011
Shite...
So I'll wake up tomorrow only to find out that the day is short of another hour of light. And it is all because of Germans, who around 1916 took it into their heads, that such time manipulation is necessary to save coal. And this idea spread over the Europe, even so the whole "saving" reasons are worth a rat's ass! Various researches proved the contrary- MORE energy is being used, than before the time change. Perkele.
I stayed at home today-well, it was quite chilly and grey outside- not the best excuse for laziness, but still.. Instead I have been acquiring some knowledge about nutrition and genetics and monsanto ( those fucks don't deserve capital letter ), and although it was quite worrying and all, I feel relief I'm not one of the mindless flock. Awareness is the key to everything.
Apart of that, I was giving a belly massage to this poor english bulldog I live with. She apparently feels very uncomfortable in her body. She can't scratch her butt as her legs are too short. She can't breathe properly. She's notoriously allergic to something, so she drools, and vomits, and scratches her muzzle til it bleeds. Her nose is dry like desert sand, so she keeps licking it endlessly. Dirt and sweat gathers is her skin folds and has to be removed on daily basis, otherwise it begins to stink. Whenever she drinks or eats or sleeps, there is always some infernal noise following it. When she plays with her squeakie toy it's as if someone was trying to unclog a toilet to no avail. I can't help but pity her. She doesn't have a chance for a natural birth. Most of puppies in the brood would be prone to illnesses as it is typical for this breed. She's just a bad experiment. And greedy people are to blame.
And what's with the slug?!
Well, I'm in the process of making one out of felt. I'm totally in love with those adorable slugs in "Flushed away" cartoon! They are just tooooooo sweet.
Lastly, there is an awesome Barlog, made by Weta on allegro and am scared I'll spend my last penny on it!!
Need someone to stop me!!!!!
Erm...Ok uncle Walken. I won't do it (crossed fingers).
Blast it.
Shite...
So I'll wake up tomorrow only to find out that the day is short of another hour of light. And it is all because of Germans, who around 1916 took it into their heads, that such time manipulation is necessary to save coal. And this idea spread over the Europe, even so the whole "saving" reasons are worth a rat's ass! Various researches proved the contrary- MORE energy is being used, than before the time change. Perkele.
I stayed at home today-well, it was quite chilly and grey outside- not the best excuse for laziness, but still.. Instead I have been acquiring some knowledge about nutrition and genetics and monsanto ( those fucks don't deserve capital letter ), and although it was quite worrying and all, I feel relief I'm not one of the mindless flock. Awareness is the key to everything.
Apart of that, I was giving a belly massage to this poor english bulldog I live with. She apparently feels very uncomfortable in her body. She can't scratch her butt as her legs are too short. She can't breathe properly. She's notoriously allergic to something, so she drools, and vomits, and scratches her muzzle til it bleeds. Her nose is dry like desert sand, so she keeps licking it endlessly. Dirt and sweat gathers is her skin folds and has to be removed on daily basis, otherwise it begins to stink. Whenever she drinks or eats or sleeps, there is always some infernal noise following it. When she plays with her squeakie toy it's as if someone was trying to unclog a toilet to no avail. I can't help but pity her. She doesn't have a chance for a natural birth. Most of puppies in the brood would be prone to illnesses as it is typical for this breed. She's just a bad experiment. And greedy people are to blame.
And what's with the slug?!
Well, I'm in the process of making one out of felt. I'm totally in love with those adorable slugs in "Flushed away" cartoon! They are just tooooooo sweet.
Lastly, there is an awesome Barlog, made by Weta on allegro and am scared I'll spend my last penny on it!!
Need someone to stop me!!!!!
Erm...Ok uncle Walken. I won't do it (crossed fingers).
Blast it.
hell-o
28. X. 2011
I think I should start counting so called BAD DAYS and then summarise every month. And see if I'm really at the edge of sanity. What is certain is that I'm completely and utterly lost. But worst of all is DISSAPOINTMENT!! And, Holy Mother Of Fuck I can't help it but remain sorely dissapointed with almost everything and everyone, especially with myself. Those mood sways are killing me.
Yesterday I was at the concert of Tides From Nebula and been having moderately good time with Orlando and some of his friends. Went there for free again as O. won double ticket in radio contest.
And I met with Aga twice already, as she came for few days with her ill behaved daughters and with parents. Received stuff requested. I should be glad, that FINALLY some friendly soul came to rescue me for few days, and maybe even I was glad, for a brief moment but it faded away.
Perhaps the most interesting experience of the day was a meal at the Milk Bar, near Kosciuszko Square. Felt for a moment as I was transferred in time.
And later on it was just getting worse and worse...
Suddenly I got it: I'm addicted to somebody's attention! What a horrible thing to discover!! I wish I was a village mad woman- self-sufficient in every way, outcast surrounded by plants and animals, living away from all I despise and don't understand. Escape is what I need.
And yes, my heart is bleeding, it's torn apart, it's weak. Too much love. Too many expectations. And at the end of a day all what's left is anger.
P.S. Was smacked in a face by a three years old human being. Took it with dignity, but my pressure rose dangerously. Devillish creature!
I think I should start counting so called BAD DAYS and then summarise every month. And see if I'm really at the edge of sanity. What is certain is that I'm completely and utterly lost. But worst of all is DISSAPOINTMENT!! And, Holy Mother Of Fuck I can't help it but remain sorely dissapointed with almost everything and everyone, especially with myself. Those mood sways are killing me.
Yesterday I was at the concert of Tides From Nebula and been having moderately good time with Orlando and some of his friends. Went there for free again as O. won double ticket in radio contest.
And I met with Aga twice already, as she came for few days with her ill behaved daughters and with parents. Received stuff requested. I should be glad, that FINALLY some friendly soul came to rescue me for few days, and maybe even I was glad, for a brief moment but it faded away.
Perhaps the most interesting experience of the day was a meal at the Milk Bar, near Kosciuszko Square. Felt for a moment as I was transferred in time.
And later on it was just getting worse and worse...
Suddenly I got it: I'm addicted to somebody's attention! What a horrible thing to discover!! I wish I was a village mad woman- self-sufficient in every way, outcast surrounded by plants and animals, living away from all I despise and don't understand. Escape is what I need.
And yes, my heart is bleeding, it's torn apart, it's weak. Too much love. Too many expectations. And at the end of a day all what's left is anger.
P.S. Was smacked in a face by a three years old human being. Took it with dignity, but my pressure rose dangerously. Devillish creature!
what is art?
25. X. 2011
Today I will limit my post to the confession of a great artist, someone, who until this day was in my opinion just another spoiled painter deprived of any self-criticism. I could not agree more with his words:
Picasso's Confession
"When I was young, like all the young, art, great art, was my religion; but with the years, I came to see that art, as it was understood until 1800; was henceforth finished, on its last legs, doomed, and that so called artistic activity with all its abundance is only the many formed manifestation of its agony. Men are detached from and more and more disinterested in painting, sculpture and poetry; appearances to the contrary, men today have put their hearts into everything else; the machine, scientific discoveries, wealth, the domination of natural forces and immense territories. We no longer feel art as a vital need, as a spiritual necessity, as was the case in centuries past.
Many of us continue to be artists and to be occupied with art for reasons which have little in common with true art, but rather through a spirit of imitation, through nostalgia for tradition, through mere inertia, through love of ostentation, of prodigality, of intellectual curiosity, through fashion or through calculation. They live still through force of habit and snobbery in a recent past, but the great majority in all places no longer have any sincere passion for art, which they consider at most as a diversion, a hobby and a decoration. Little by little, new generations with a predilection for mechanics and sports, more sincere, more cynical and brutal, will leave art to the museums and libraries as an incomprehensible and useless relic of the past.
From the moment that art is no longer the sustenance that nourishes the best, the artist may exteriorize his talent in all sorts of experiments with new formulas, in endless caprices and fancy, in all the expedients of intellectual charlatanism. In the arts, people no longer seek consolation, nor exaltation. But the refined, the rich, the indolent, distillers of quintessence seek the new, the unusual, the original, the extravagant, the shocking. And I, since cubism and beyond, I have satisfied these gentlemen and these critics with all the various whims which have entered my head, and the less they understood them, the more they admired. By amusing myself at these games, at all these tomfooleries, at all these brain-busters, riddles and arabesques, I became famous quite rapidly. And celebrity means for a painter: sales increment, money, wealth.
Today, as you know, I am famous and very rich. But when completely alone with myself, I haven't the nerve to consider myself an artist in the great and ancient sense of the word. There have been great painters like Giotto, Titian, Rembrandt and Goya. I am only a public entertainer who has understood his time. This is a bitter confession, mine, more painful indeed than it may seem, but it has the merit of being sincere."
Today I will limit my post to the confession of a great artist, someone, who until this day was in my opinion just another spoiled painter deprived of any self-criticism. I could not agree more with his words:
Picasso's Confession
"When I was young, like all the young, art, great art, was my religion; but with the years, I came to see that art, as it was understood until 1800; was henceforth finished, on its last legs, doomed, and that so called artistic activity with all its abundance is only the many formed manifestation of its agony. Men are detached from and more and more disinterested in painting, sculpture and poetry; appearances to the contrary, men today have put their hearts into everything else; the machine, scientific discoveries, wealth, the domination of natural forces and immense territories. We no longer feel art as a vital need, as a spiritual necessity, as was the case in centuries past.
Many of us continue to be artists and to be occupied with art for reasons which have little in common with true art, but rather through a spirit of imitation, through nostalgia for tradition, through mere inertia, through love of ostentation, of prodigality, of intellectual curiosity, through fashion or through calculation. They live still through force of habit and snobbery in a recent past, but the great majority in all places no longer have any sincere passion for art, which they consider at most as a diversion, a hobby and a decoration. Little by little, new generations with a predilection for mechanics and sports, more sincere, more cynical and brutal, will leave art to the museums and libraries as an incomprehensible and useless relic of the past.
From the moment that art is no longer the sustenance that nourishes the best, the artist may exteriorize his talent in all sorts of experiments with new formulas, in endless caprices and fancy, in all the expedients of intellectual charlatanism. In the arts, people no longer seek consolation, nor exaltation. But the refined, the rich, the indolent, distillers of quintessence seek the new, the unusual, the original, the extravagant, the shocking. And I, since cubism and beyond, I have satisfied these gentlemen and these critics with all the various whims which have entered my head, and the less they understood them, the more they admired. By amusing myself at these games, at all these tomfooleries, at all these brain-busters, riddles and arabesques, I became famous quite rapidly. And celebrity means for a painter: sales increment, money, wealth.
Today, as you know, I am famous and very rich. But when completely alone with myself, I haven't the nerve to consider myself an artist in the great and ancient sense of the word. There have been great painters like Giotto, Titian, Rembrandt and Goya. I am only a public entertainer who has understood his time. This is a bitter confession, mine, more painful indeed than it may seem, but it has the merit of being sincere."
Sunday bloody Sunday
23.X.2011
Watched today aged Harrison Ford punching people in their faces and trying not to get heart attack while doing so. "Indiana Jones and the Lost Ark" used to be one of my favourite movies and I think fondly of Mr.Ford, but the newest adventures of fearless archelogist don't make such impression on me. Despite alien crystal skulls, insane special effects and Cate Blanchett whom I adore. Oh, and Ray Winston, who is getting fatter and fatter. He was never particularly slender, even ages ago when he was portraying Will Scarlet at the "Robin of Sherwood" series. And he's such a typical Englishman-red faced and harsh and loud, with bad hair and temper. Still, I have certain sentiment to this man.
Today is Sunday and I hate Sundays! Church going used to be a reason ( I always detested this painful obligation to my Grandparents ) but finally at the age of 16 I refused to be a part of this mindless worshipping once and for all. Then Sunday became just a boring day, with some family meetings. All the best parties and acts of insanity were taking place on Fridays and Saturdays. Sundays appeared interesting during my studies at ASP, where apart from learning (OBVIOUSLY!) the whole lot of us was indulging into more or less alcoholic mischief. Oh these were good days! Certainly best Sundays in my life. But everything must come to an end eventually, and so i got my BA and decided not to push for more. Seriously, who cares if I have a master degree?! Well, I dont.
Found myself abroad, doing things far below my pride, and the toughest tasks were always awaiting on Sundays. Well on Saturdays too, to be perfectly honest. How could I commit almost three years of my precious life to the housekeeping? Must have been out of my mind! Now, on Sundays I'm just bored...YAWN>>>
Throughout last four months I have noticed many unusual things. Like : what an english bulldog has to do with raw carrots?
Well, I don't know if this is just a separate case, but I know one bulldog who is completely insane about this vegetable. I think she would eat it until she'd puke. Everytime I'm about to open the refrigerator, she comes in bouncing and wiggling her pathetic little tail and stuffing her head in search for carrots. If you give her one, she'll demand another shortly after! As far as I know she likes beets and leeks too, but carrot is her favourite. Failed to mention that this poor canine is unable to eat normally-whole floor or whatever she is at at the moment is smeared with drool and covered with countless pieces of vegetable carcass. Kinda understand her love for carrots-especially those freshly picked from my aunts garden-orange, red and white. Yum!
Holy crap, it is getting dark already (17.19)-I seriously hate it. But the worst is coming-soon shall have to change a clock, next week to be precise. What a moronic idea! ! !
Oh, and here is my hat. The more I look at it, the more unperfections I find but it is still possible to fix them, so it's ok.
Still don't know how to shrink AVI file. DviX and Xvid didn't work.
Watched today aged Harrison Ford punching people in their faces and trying not to get heart attack while doing so. "Indiana Jones and the Lost Ark" used to be one of my favourite movies and I think fondly of Mr.Ford, but the newest adventures of fearless archelogist don't make such impression on me. Despite alien crystal skulls, insane special effects and Cate Blanchett whom I adore. Oh, and Ray Winston, who is getting fatter and fatter. He was never particularly slender, even ages ago when he was portraying Will Scarlet at the "Robin of Sherwood" series. And he's such a typical Englishman-red faced and harsh and loud, with bad hair and temper. Still, I have certain sentiment to this man.
Today is Sunday and I hate Sundays! Church going used to be a reason ( I always detested this painful obligation to my Grandparents ) but finally at the age of 16 I refused to be a part of this mindless worshipping once and for all. Then Sunday became just a boring day, with some family meetings. All the best parties and acts of insanity were taking place on Fridays and Saturdays. Sundays appeared interesting during my studies at ASP, where apart from learning (OBVIOUSLY!) the whole lot of us was indulging into more or less alcoholic mischief. Oh these were good days! Certainly best Sundays in my life. But everything must come to an end eventually, and so i got my BA and decided not to push for more. Seriously, who cares if I have a master degree?! Well, I dont.
Found myself abroad, doing things far below my pride, and the toughest tasks were always awaiting on Sundays. Well on Saturdays too, to be perfectly honest. How could I commit almost three years of my precious life to the housekeeping? Must have been out of my mind! Now, on Sundays I'm just bored...YAWN>>>
Throughout last four months I have noticed many unusual things. Like : what an english bulldog has to do with raw carrots?
Well, I don't know if this is just a separate case, but I know one bulldog who is completely insane about this vegetable. I think she would eat it until she'd puke. Everytime I'm about to open the refrigerator, she comes in bouncing and wiggling her pathetic little tail and stuffing her head in search for carrots. If you give her one, she'll demand another shortly after! As far as I know she likes beets and leeks too, but carrot is her favourite. Failed to mention that this poor canine is unable to eat normally-whole floor or whatever she is at at the moment is smeared with drool and covered with countless pieces of vegetable carcass. Kinda understand her love for carrots-especially those freshly picked from my aunts garden-orange, red and white. Yum!
Holy crap, it is getting dark already (17.19)-I seriously hate it. But the worst is coming-soon shall have to change a clock, next week to be precise. What a moronic idea! ! !
Oh, and here is my hat. The more I look at it, the more unperfections I find but it is still possible to fix them, so it's ok.
Still don't know how to shrink AVI file. DviX and Xvid didn't work.
of folk music and vodka
22.X.2011
Yesterday was having really good time at the concert of "Czeremszyna". Dancing and sweating and feeling happy. For the name of Odin, I needed it! Perhaps I should participate in such events more often as it invigorates me and makes me feel alive. True, it is rather awkward to dance among people wearing checked shirts and fake leather leggins( outfits suitable for an ordinary disco ).
Still, 'tis was GOOD. We looked entirely differently than the rest ( I mean me and Orlando )but it didn't matter. We were jumping like crazy for almost two hours and I spilled some of my beer. After the concert O. had to buy Czeremszyna's cd, as he's a total nutcase about collecting music of all kind.
Today was having some vodka time at aunt Ula's place, as it is her Name Day. Strange and daft it seems to celebrate it. I don't even know if such custom exists in any other country. It is so bloody christian!! Anyhow, had few good laughs despite being surrounded by carnivors. I think vodka and O's presence helped me a lot.
Was talking to a dog. Luna is her name. She ocasionally devours shoes. Was howling and barking and I guess she understood me quite well. Finally I received my late birthday gift-totally awesome book about Vikings. I'm such a cry baby that I shed a tear. It is truly magnificent!
In general I made quite an impression on everybody with my handmade look, and Orlando said I look sweet. Ąnd yeah, aunt Ula desires such hat as I made for myself, so I shall have to make one for her ...
Yesterday was having really good time at the concert of "Czeremszyna". Dancing and sweating and feeling happy. For the name of Odin, I needed it! Perhaps I should participate in such events more often as it invigorates me and makes me feel alive. True, it is rather awkward to dance among people wearing checked shirts and fake leather leggins( outfits suitable for an ordinary disco ).
Still, 'tis was GOOD. We looked entirely differently than the rest ( I mean me and Orlando )but it didn't matter. We were jumping like crazy for almost two hours and I spilled some of my beer. After the concert O. had to buy Czeremszyna's cd, as he's a total nutcase about collecting music of all kind.
Today was having some vodka time at aunt Ula's place, as it is her Name Day. Strange and daft it seems to celebrate it. I don't even know if such custom exists in any other country. It is so bloody christian!! Anyhow, had few good laughs despite being surrounded by carnivors. I think vodka and O's presence helped me a lot.
Was talking to a dog. Luna is her name. She ocasionally devours shoes. Was howling and barking and I guess she understood me quite well. Finally I received my late birthday gift-totally awesome book about Vikings. I'm such a cry baby that I shed a tear. It is truly magnificent!
In general I made quite an impression on everybody with my handmade look, and Orlando said I look sweet. Ąnd yeah, aunt Ula desires such hat as I made for myself, so I shall have to make one for her ...
felt-o-mania
20. X. 2011
Am sitting now sweating heavily, after a long fruitful day. Been wet felting for hours and basically for my own pleasure. I committed a terrible sin along the way-I ate some ice creams!! Feel not only inner guilt but also gut pains which might simply mean that I don't take any milk or any dairy products anymore. I'm such an idiot-yesterday had exactly same situation and it didn't teach me anything. It isn't so easy to remain strong and follow strictly vegan diet, but I am really trying my best.
Speaking of which:
Hope I shall not have to throw up...PERKELE!
As for felting-decided finally to put myself together and make myself a hat. Isn't perfect, but might be an object of envious looks-photo coming soon. Beside the hat, made a two layer flower which shall adorn my aunt's chest or whatever she wishes to adorn with it. I hope she'll like it ( she has a Name Day tomorrow ) and that she does wear brooches (?!)
Dyed my hair with a usual coloring shampoo and am satisfied with the result. I like red haired women and men, I mean I always give such people a closer look, especially if their color is natural.
Fy faen, I really feel like shit! Wait...and what if it's garlic that got me? Nah, that cannot be so. Garlic is GOOD.Milk is BAD.
Tomorrow will pay a visit to my aged Grandpa, will do some wood burning ( the cranes remain unfinished ) and then going to a folk concert with Orlando. Surprisingly.
Maybe I'll wear my new, awesome hat? Has to dry first...
Am sitting now sweating heavily, after a long fruitful day. Been wet felting for hours and basically for my own pleasure. I committed a terrible sin along the way-I ate some ice creams!! Feel not only inner guilt but also gut pains which might simply mean that I don't take any milk or any dairy products anymore. I'm such an idiot-yesterday had exactly same situation and it didn't teach me anything. It isn't so easy to remain strong and follow strictly vegan diet, but I am really trying my best.
Speaking of which:
Hope I shall not have to throw up...PERKELE!
As for felting-decided finally to put myself together and make myself a hat. Isn't perfect, but might be an object of envious looks-photo coming soon. Beside the hat, made a two layer flower which shall adorn my aunt's chest or whatever she wishes to adorn with it. I hope she'll like it ( she has a Name Day tomorrow ) and that she does wear brooches (?!)
Dyed my hair with a usual coloring shampoo and am satisfied with the result. I like red haired women and men, I mean I always give such people a closer look, especially if their color is natural.
Fy faen, I really feel like shit! Wait...and what if it's garlic that got me? Nah, that cannot be so. Garlic is GOOD.Milk is BAD.
Tomorrow will pay a visit to my aged Grandpa, will do some wood burning ( the cranes remain unfinished ) and then going to a folk concert with Orlando. Surprisingly.
Maybe I'll wear my new, awesome hat? Has to dry first...
new/old me
18.X.2011
Learned a new word recently :PERKELE! Although I find finnish much to complicated to even bother to start studying it, there are certainly some nice examples of amusing vocabulary, such as this. PERKELE!
Well then, it is time to redesign my life somehow. Am interested in far to many things right now and it is extremely hard to focus on just one. How on Earth could I do this if there is so many tempting ways to express myself? Creation gives meaning to my existence. Which is miserable by the way. As we all at times realize this and try to forget about it ASAP. My thoughts revolve lately around doll making. Truly, I do envy some people they skills and imagination :
The beauty pictured above was crafted by incredibly talented person (marti presents dolls) and is now in a private collection. Yeah, this is soft/weak/delicate part of me showing off now. Trying to hide it under the shell/armour/shield of cynism and sarcasm. Which are the mightiest weapons in this horrible, horrible times we are living in! I said WE, meaning my generation, but I don't neccessarily identify with it as I'm out of this World and find myself entirely different than most human beings...
It is getting late now, and again I've waisted a lot of time. Perkele! Thinking of wet felting myself a trillby hat, as I never buy something I can make with my own hands. Weather outside gets chilly and I have to protect my brain from stingy windblows!
Now, going back to wood burning. Shall watch that Robin Hood again, as I like mud and blood mingled together.
Learned a new word recently :PERKELE! Although I find finnish much to complicated to even bother to start studying it, there are certainly some nice examples of amusing vocabulary, such as this. PERKELE!
Well then, it is time to redesign my life somehow. Am interested in far to many things right now and it is extremely hard to focus on just one. How on Earth could I do this if there is so many tempting ways to express myself? Creation gives meaning to my existence. Which is miserable by the way. As we all at times realize this and try to forget about it ASAP. My thoughts revolve lately around doll making. Truly, I do envy some people they skills and imagination :
The beauty pictured above was crafted by incredibly talented person (marti presents dolls) and is now in a private collection. Yeah, this is soft/weak/delicate part of me showing off now. Trying to hide it under the shell/armour/shield of cynism and sarcasm. Which are the mightiest weapons in this horrible, horrible times we are living in! I said WE, meaning my generation, but I don't neccessarily identify with it as I'm out of this World and find myself entirely different than most human beings...
It is getting late now, and again I've waisted a lot of time. Perkele! Thinking of wet felting myself a trillby hat, as I never buy something I can make with my own hands. Weather outside gets chilly and I have to protect my brain from stingy windblows!
Now, going back to wood burning. Shall watch that Robin Hood again, as I like mud and blood mingled together.
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