Winter still fighting strong-ocassional blizzards, temperature below zero during the night. Quite annoying.
Almost as annoying as the thought that my teeth are in ruin, even though there was not much of any sign-be it pain or such, to raise suspicion. Now tooth upon tooth is being closely examined by my dear Aunt, and now instead of one filling I have, uhmm, six?! Am rather dissapointed, as I thought at least my teeth are in great codition. They surely look healthy, but this is just a deceit. Goddamn. Still lower jaw to be checked-I begin to fear that might be same story.
As for my state of mind, it seems I start to feel better. I know I'm in hopeless position as it comes to finances and I really, really wish that someone would finally notice my desperation and foremostly: my awesomness and skill, to buy some of my works. O. says my paintings for the exibition are visibly made in a hurry and without proper focusing. I hate to admit he's probably right. Maybe I should make some few more pyrographic works, and instead of 15 paintings, exibit just 10. Don't even know how big is the exibition space.
Polymer Odin is done, and at O.'s with few basic layers on. My next concept is a devilish horse head-like the one from SleepyHollow or the one of Ringwraiths/Nazgul stallions.
Today, once again, at Grandpa's I have been forced to watch some television. At first it was highly interesting, because there was some BBC Nature document about Africa's most astonishing places. Soon enough though, after returning from my dear Aunt the dentist (this time just a horrible feeling of big lump attached to my throat, as my palate was completely anaestehetised ) had to watch one of the most popular shows, where people have to guess a title of a song after hearing just few notes ( "TODAY'S SPONSOR IS A PRODUCER OF MARMOT FAT OINTMENT"-I kid you not! ). Perhaps the idea is good but certainly not the way this program is being put together. The audience (consisting of very young people dressed as for some stupid disco party), is so fake in reactions, so desperatly pathetic, that it seriously bothers me. I can easily imagine a screen with words "AND NOW CHEER!" or "APPLAUD!" or " BE EXTATIC!" which almost certainly is being shown to those people. And holy mother of Fuck-dancing and singing numbers are even worse. Even if someone really has some vocal talent it becomes irrelevant when contradicted with tacky outfits, stupid face expressions, pretended emotions, and constant urge to be "sexy". I mean-really- does every man have a hard on when some refurbished bitch is almost doing a blow job to a microphone? And does every woman get wet, when some immaculately shaved and tanned weirdo in skinny jeans sliding off his boney ass sings about love and desire? Seriously, WTF is happening to this world?
And how about all those tv series? Yet another pulp for the brain. Thor allmighty, and there are some people out there, hundreds of thousands maybe, or even milions, who are so deeply involved into these shallow stories, thay can't actually live without them. What is the purpose, for instance, of making a series of "supermodel's" life? What a incredibly idiotic idea. I understand that fashion must be presented somehow, and models are to be walking hangers, but why on Earth everybody are so excited about it? I think it is an outrage that models, actors and football players get such rediculous amounts of money for their work, and for example brain surgeon gets just a fraction of that amounts.
Everybody wants to be worshipped, desired, pampered for as long as posssible and by as many people as possible. Pure, fucking madness.
Television is making terrible things to my mind. That's why I hardly watch it.
*
Today, quite unexpectedly while on my way to the dentist, I met a guy whom I haven't seen for roughly ten years. Was immidiately certain it's him. And he did recognise me too, seemed even to be pleased to see me as he kept saying that several times. We met ages ago at the exams on ASP in Gdańsk. Apparently he's doing really good in life, and what's even more interesting, he's lives solely out of photography! And mind you, he's a father of three! Am quite amazed. He looks happy. So, thre are some happy people in this country after all. We exchanged telephone numbers, hugged and split as I didn't really have time and he was visibly in a hurry as well. Don't really think of any people as possibly useful in the future, but I think that this particular acquaintance is worth tending to.
Besides was attacked by two stupid mongrels that belong to our neighbor, while coming back home from the city. Had to walk backwards as they barked loudly trying to get me. Was yelling at them and waving my grocery bag a bit, but generally wasn't freaked out. Only if any of them ever dare to bite me, I'll fucking kill it. The owner should be severly punished for being irresponsible dick hole.
And now for something completely different:
I don't know, but this I guess is not my future after all. One of my fairies.
Last but not least- another life has come to an end-Wiktor Wołkow ceased to be. He'd be 70 on 4th of April. Humble photographer in love with nature. There will be no other like him. It is said that almost a thousand people came to his funeral in Białystok. I think he wouldn't like it.
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