Couldn't bring myself to wake at 9.00. If I only had a possibility to hibernate, then I would. Great plans shattered, hahahahahahaha.
Washed my hair and later decided to paint something on 20cm x 30cm canvas. I did few drawings yesterday while watching "Trollhunter", and painting is based on one of them. Didn't finish it though, because aunt and uncle arrived with their deceased dog, Luna. Poor creature got her shot today, as she was in really bad state. Cancer had spread all over her body, so there was no other option to ease her passing. And so she's laying next to her predecessor, in a fertile, brown soil, among trees and shrubs.
I think of death every now and then. Strangely more often than ever, maybe because so many people had died recently, maybe because of my frequent visits at the cementary, bad condition of my cousin, my Grandparents talking about going to the "other side". Watched recently a documentary about Bruce Lee and his son, Brandon. Can't believe how coincidence may wipe out people before they even know it. Call it a curse, destiny, bad luck, karma. Begin to think that any plannig doesn't make sense, really. I'm a very cautious person by nature, but even so, anything can happen anytime, suddenly. Maybe the more aware you are of many dangers of life, the more you are exposed to them? Or maybe you can't really live as constant anxiety prevents you from being relaxed and happy?
When was the last time I was happy? Ah, yeah- April-May. Then a bit in August.
What crap. I wonder if I had this little, wooden house, away from people, would I get over my loneliness better than now, or would I go entirely insane?
No comments:
Post a Comment